visits Raphael's blog at www.stupiddecisionsanonymous.blogspot.com
- Raphael John Biltz
- Zippiddy doo da! Zippiddy Day!
- Sarah Packard
- my oh my what a wonderful day
- Raphael John Biltz
- Filled with marshmallows and strawberries and a neurotic unicorn named dave with an overbite the size of montana!
- Sarah Packard
- and a fairy named Christina who thinks she can sing every note of the sound barrier and a cartiloginious shark named freddy who eats veggies covered in cheese and preservatives.
- Raphael John Biltz
- And an imp with no name who tries to seduce inanimate objects, but never gets anywhere cuz she gets mad at them all "ignoring" her!
- Sarah Packard
- and a car who lost his hood ornament and is trying to find it amongst the craziness of this mad mad world!
- Raphael John Biltz
- But secretly the hood ornament is alive, and running for president with the slogan "Beer is Good."
- Sarah Packard
- and the republicans are trying to push him down for his erotic pose because they find it inappropriate for the children of England.
- Raphael John Biltz
- and the British PM, David Cameron (I think), has threatened to start a nuclear holocaust if Christina doesn't stop her annoying quasi-singing!
- Sarah Packard
- but alas she sings on against the termoil of the world, even tho she doesn't sound very good, and professes her love for the erotic hood ornament!
- Raphael John Biltz
- And the imp comes back from a week-long almost-orgy and starts her own bid for president under the slogan "sex=good, erotic hood ornaments=good, imps=better"
...it doesn't catch on.
- Sarah Packard
- and Christina and the imp are caught in an epic battle to the death as the cartiliginous shark named Freddy watches from the stands, eating his veggies and preservatives and puts his arm around Dave the unicorn, making his gay-wonderful-i-love-you-even-tho-you're-another-species-move!
- Raphael John Biltz
- Then Mr. Cameron says "to hell with it" and nukes the whole world.
Only the ornamentless car dies.
- Sarah Packard
- Christina and the imp are so struck that they cry at his funeral while Christina wails Amazing Grace and Freddy and Dave holds hands tightly as a flag is flown and the wind picks up, carrying ash and radioactivity from the site over them.
- Raphael John Biltz
- And, instead of party favors, the radiation gives every cancer and extra limbs.
- everyone*
- Sarah Packard
- and they can all hug each other even better now that they have more arms. and Freddy is no longer carteliginous and Dave is a two-horned unicorn and Christina can actually sing and the hood ornament loves her back and the imp is struck witha kind heart and voted president.
- Raphael John Biltz
- And as president, the Imp manages to persuade Congress to outlaw ornaments leaving their cars unatended, and the hood ornament is retroactively jailed for 17 years... with aSarah Packard
- and Christina weeps for her love and sings to him through the iron bars of his imprisonment, baking him cookies and puts notes of her love inside of them.
- Raphael John Biltz
- Then Freddy, being a shark, swims to the bottom of the ocean to find Atlantis, and bring back the fish people to conquer Canada.
THe Imp refuses to commit US troops to stop the invasion.
- Sarah Packard
- dave stays at home with their adopted cartiliginous horse babies and sews patches on the fish people uniforms. the hood ornament is smoggled out of jail by an underground tunnel and is pushed to the front to lead the fish peoples attack on the Canadians.
- Sarah Packard
- um um um.... the Canadian fish army, after wandering Quebec, begin to realize it's cold. so they steal a bear named Mona and high-tail it to the ocean.
- Raphael John Biltz
- Mona turns out to be an alien and takes control of Atlantis, the Fish people, and Freddy and opresses them with a thousand year reign of terror. Dave writes Freddy letters every month (he can't survive underwater... so he's still in Canada somewhere...)
- Sarah Packard
- over the thousand years of terror Dave takes their tiny horse babies and teaches them how to swim and breathe underwater and at the day the thousand years ends, he sends his children to challenge the Alien-Bear Mona to an epic battle to the death, for the City of Atlantis and for the Whole World!
- 16 minutes agoRaphael John Biltz
- Mona wins without breaking a sweat, and begins ANOTHER thousand year reign of terror.
But this time... over THE WHOLE WORLD!
- but but... carteliginous horse babies.....
they have a heart-wrenching funeral. Freddy has escaped some time during the epic battle and run to his love, Dave. they weep toegether and mourn their children. but this instills in their heart a new-found motivation to end Mona he alien-bears reign over their beloved planet.
- The Imp, by this time no longer president, the car and the hood ornament, Christina, and our entire cast (minus Mona and the fish people) get together in Kentucky to work out a plan. A plan to END Mona's reign. They have duct tape and mashed potatoes at their disposal... what else can they possibly need???
- Raphael John Biltz
- They drug his body along.
- it was rather gross
- Sarah Packard
- but the rest of them lead a frontal attack on Mona the evil bitch bear and killed her dead with mashed potatoes and duct tape. thus providing the world with a worthy tyrant, the dead car, who's body is gross.
- Raphael John Biltz
- But the dead car really stunk up the new world capitol, and so was soon replaced by Miss Piggy.
Who reigned with great fashion and suave for a thousand thousand years.
The End.
- Sarah Packard
- that's a great ending.
- Raphael John Biltz
- anything where Miss Piggy ends up ruling the world is a great ending
- Sarah Packard
- TRUE!
Oh my...
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