Raphael and I

this is the greatest conversation two friends of mine ver had! love it~!!!!

visits Raphael's blog at www.stupiddecisionsanonymous.blogspot.com

• Sarah Packard

  • howdy doo da day
• Raphael John Biltz

  • Zippiddy doo da! Zippiddy Day!
• Sarah Packard

  • my oh my what a wonderful day
• Raphael John Biltz

  • Filled with marshmallows and strawberries and a neurotic unicorn named dave with an overbite the size of montana!
• Sarah Packard

  • and a fairy named Christina who thinks she can sing every note of the sound barrier and a cartiloginious shark named freddy who eats veggies covered in cheese and preservatives.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • And an imp with no name who tries to seduce inanimate objects, but never gets anywhere cuz she gets mad at them all "ignoring" her!
• Sarah Packard

  • and a car who lost his hood ornament and is trying to find it amongst the craziness of this mad mad world!
• Raphael John Biltz

  • But secretly the hood ornament is alive, and running for president with the slogan "Beer is Good."
• Sarah Packard

  • and the republicans are trying to push him down for his erotic pose because they find it inappropriate for the children of England.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • and the British PM, David Cameron (I think), has threatened to start a nuclear holocaust if Christina doesn't stop her annoying quasi-singing!
• Sarah Packard

  • but alas she sings on against the termoil of the world, even tho she doesn't sound very good, and professes her love for the erotic hood ornament!
• Raphael John Biltz

  • And the imp comes back from a week-long almost-orgy and starts her own bid for president under the slogan "sex=good, erotic hood ornaments=good, imps=better"
    
    ...it doesn't catch on.
• Sarah Packard

  • and Christina and the imp are caught in an epic battle to the death as the cartiliginous shark named Freddy watches from the stands, eating his veggies and preservatives and puts his arm around Dave the unicorn, making his gay-wonderful-i-love-you-even-tho-you're-another-species-move!
• Raphael John Biltz

  • Then Mr. Cameron says "to hell with it" and nukes the whole world.
    
    Only the ornamentless car dies.
• Sarah Packard

  • Christina and the imp are so struck that they cry at his funeral while Christina wails Amazing Grace and Freddy and Dave holds hands tightly as a flag is flown and the wind picks up, carrying ash and radioactivity from the site over them.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • And, instead of party favors, the radiation gives every cancer and extra limbs.
  • everyone*
• Sarah Packard

  • and they can all hug each other even better now that they have more arms. and Freddy is no longer carteliginous and Dave is a two-horned unicorn and Christina can actually sing and the hood ornament loves her back and the imp is struck witha kind heart and voted president.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • And as president, the Imp manages to persuade Congress to outlaw ornaments leaving their cars unatended, and the hood ornament is retroactively jailed for 17 years... with aSarah Packard
• • and Christina weeps for her love and sings to him through the iron bars of his imprisonment, baking him cookies and puts notes of her love inside of them.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • Then Freddy, being a shark, swims to the bottom of the ocean to find Atlantis, and bring back the fish people to conquer Canada.
    
    THe Imp refuses to commit US troops to stop the invasion.

• Sarah Packard

  • dave stays at home with their adopted cartiliginous horse babies and sews patches on the fish people uniforms. the hood ornament is smoggled out of jail by an underground tunnel and is pushed to the front to lead the fish peoples attack on the Canadians.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • The Canadians make peace by swearing off Curling forever. The fishpeople then wander Quebec aimlessly, wondering what to do with their army.
    
    The hood ornament moves to Kentucky with Christina, and they set up a tattoo parlor that caters to the Amish community.
    (business is poor)
• Sarah Packard

  • um um um.... the Canadian fish army, after wandering Quebec, begin to realize it's cold. so they steal a bear named Mona and high-tail it to the ocean.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • Mona turns out to be an alien and takes control of Atlantis, the Fish people, and Freddy and opresses them with a thousand year reign of terror. Dave writes Freddy letters every month (he can't survive underwater... so he's still in Canada somewhere...)
• Sarah Packard

  • over the thousand years of terror Dave takes their tiny horse babies and teaches them how to swim and breathe underwater and at the day the thousand years ends, he sends his children to challenge the Alien-Bear Mona to an epic battle to the death, for the City of Atlantis and for the Whole World!
• 16 minutes ago

  Raphael John Biltz

  • Mona wins without breaking a sweat, and begins ANOTHER thousand year reign of terror.
    
    But this time... over THE WHOLE WORLD!
• Sarah Packard

  • but but... carteliginous horse babies.....
    they have a heart-wrenching funeral. Freddy has escaped some time during the epic battle and run to his love, Dave. they weep toegether and mourn their children. but this instills in their heart a new-found motivation to end Mona he alien-bears reign over their beloved planet.
• 
  

  Raphael John Biltz

  • The Imp, by this time no longer president, the car and the hood ornament, Christina, and our entire cast (minus Mona and the fish people) get together in Kentucky to work out a plan. A plan to END Mona's reign. They have duct tape and mashed potatoes at their disposal... what else can they possibly need???
• 
  

  Sarah Packard

  • the car is dead! remember his funeral/
    ?
• Raphael John Biltz

  • They drug his body along.
  • it was rather gross
• Sarah Packard

  • but the rest of them lead a frontal attack on Mona the evil bitch bear and killed her dead with mashed potatoes and duct tape. thus providing the world with a worthy tyrant, the dead car, who's body is gross.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • But the dead car really stunk up the new world capitol, and so was soon replaced by Miss Piggy.
    
    Who reigned with great fashion and suave for a thousand thousand years.
    
    The End.
• Sarah Packard

  • that's a great ending.
• Raphael John Biltz

  • anything where Miss Piggy ends up ruling the world is a great ending
• Sarah Packard

  • TRUE!

Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka

i know that everyone likes to throw stones at Westboro and boy would i like to too. but instead, i'm here to simply dispel some of their idiocies.
first; when i went on their website this morning i found a section titled 'god doesn't make bad things happen, mother nature and satan do.' i can quickly tell you something that makes this bogus. when Westboro came to MY church, i had a small chat with a few of it's members. i didn't get angry, i didn't shout (which was actually really hard for me) but what i said to a woman was this;
"how can you beleive that God hates anyone? God is all-merciful and he loves his children. he can't hate."
"God does hate. he smites the wicked and kills the f@#s. the soldiers deserve to die because God hates them."
"but how can you rationalize hate? god loves us, no matter what we've done wrong. he will always forgive us."
"oh but he'll never forgive those f@#s. never. they hate him. they are disgusting. they are unrighteous and god will kill them all."

all i ask is that if God doesn't make bad things happen, why would i hear this from the mouth of a Westboro member? this conversation goes on for a while where this woman basically just repeated herself indefinately and ended my questions by pushing her sign, which read 'your priest is a f@#', in my face and yelling that i was unjust.
so i walked around the circle of human-haters and came across a woman with two small children standing in front of her. these children were both under the age of 5 and were holding signs with unimaginable (to me) cruel things written on them. words i wouldn't ever want a 20 year old, let alone a 5 year old utter.
i said to this woman;
"do this child even know what this sign says?"
"of course not!" the woman said to me as if i were the crazy one here.
"then why is he holding it? how can he represent something he doesn't understand?"
"he is representing God, he understands that."
to which i nodded. it was a good point.
"but the truth is, God doesn't hate anyone. he would never kill anyone. he loves us."
"he may love me, but he doesn't love you."
"what have i done to deserve gods wrath?" i asked, surprised by the cruelty in her voice.
"you have fornicated, you are an unjust child of god, you have disrespected him in your dress!"
i looked down at myself. i was wearing a just-below-the-knee length dress that went all the way up to my neck. i looked back up at her.
"i am a virgin, i am wearing tasteful, respectful clothes to my church service where i worship a lord who loves, not hates. he has forgiven me for the things i've done, have you asked him to forgive you?"
"i don't need to be forgiven. God loves me."
"let he who has not sinned cast the first stone."
she glared at me and shouted something about soldiers dying. i was already walking away.

my point is this: Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka doesn't understand what they're talking about. if Mr. Phelps is gonna spend so much time educating them, he should at least be doing it right.

Earthquakes and Meditation

so i've been getting really into yoga lately, it hurts my back really bad but it makes the rest of me feel really good. i do at least half an hour daily. well the other day i decided to switch it up and do meditation instead, so i turned on my yoga-meditation video and less than five minutes into it my house shook. i figured it was a neighbor downstairs slamming a door too hard, but then it kept going. as the house soon more and more i began to realize that it was an earthquake. i paused my video and got into the nearest doorway faster than i knew i could move. the earthquake lasted another 15-20 seconds before it ended and i remember literally thinking that i might die. that my ricketty shitty apartment would cave in and i'd be crushed. just as this thought struck me the tremors slowed and then stopped.
needless to say it scared the shit out of me. this is Kansas, we're not supposed to have earthquakes in Kansas. but apparently the Humbolt Fault Line, which basically runs right through Kansas, has been getting more and more active since 2007, this was simply the big one and now they expect the activity to go back down again. we'll see.
as for me. i kind of enjoyed the danger of it.

Drugs

i have a friend named Matthew and he and i have been friends for six or so years and we've always been close. able to talk about everything. but he's uncomfortable with me talking about religion, he says it smothers him, and i respect that. i don't bring it up unless he does first and then we have ineresting, wonderful conversation. but after last week when his mom attempted suicide he's been doing drugs just about every night. and he feels the need to text me about it every time he does. it literally feels like he's rubbing it in my face. and i care about this man, he's my friend and i love him and he's treating me like crap by rubbing in my face that he's a stoner. so i confronted him about it and his response (after about 15 minutes of talking) was:
 "look, i support you being a Catholic. why can't you support me being a stoner?"
needless to say i responded by chucking my phone across the room and bursting into tears. and the reason for this reaction is because he's my friend and i care about him. i love him. and it hurts me to know that he's trying to hurt me. especially by comparing my Catholicism to his Stonerism. he knew that would strike a chord and that hurts me just as much as what he actually said. it makes me feel like i'm not worth the effort of at least trying. i used to matter to him.
the moral of the story is: please actually care about your friends, because some of us bleed for you.

Helping Hands

i live quite a ways from campus and have no car so i walk home. well it's past dark and i had to walk home, like i do every night, but this time i didn't have one of my big man-friends to guard me on the way like they usually do. i was walking through the bad side of town on my way to my crappy but adorable apartment and a small, white truck pulls up next to me. i try not to look, terrified i'm going to be raped and murdered and i hear;
"what the hell are you doing?"
i look up to see a good friend of mine from high school whom i haven't seen in a few months.
i laughed and said "i'm walking home."
"where do you live?"
"insert my adress here."
"hell no, get in the car. you're not walking that far."
so i got in the car and he drove me home like a true gentleman. i'm telling this story because i feel like my friend who drove me whom, his name is Kendall, i feel like he's a dying breed. and that seriously depresses me. more people should take a page from this young man's book. he's always been respectful, funny, chivalrous, kind, thoughtful and loving. and that's what every human being, every man, should be. but sadly, most people these days are selfish, gluttonous, immature, jerks. as demonstrated by the pick up line served to me today:
a tall man walked up to me today, put his arm around me and said,"i have a king size bed and it feels real empty without your naked body in it."
no surprise, i laughed, told him 'nice try' and left.
why can't more men be like Kendall?

The Family

So this weekend i'm visiting my family. i haven't seen them in a while. all my little brothers are very grown up and my sister is just as crazy as ever. i love them all. i've missed being around this house, in the hustle and bustle of family life. but at the same time, i'm enjoying my vacation from it. i refer to it as a vacation because i know that it's simply a pause in my life until i get married and have the hustle and bustle of my own family. i can't wait for those days to come. i hope i'm a good mom and a good wife. we'll have to see :)
stick around to find out :D

BEST FRIENDS!

today i get to see my very best friend in the whole wide world for the first time in two months! i cannot tell you how much i've missed her!!!! anyway! it's gonna be awesome. we're gonna have lunch at my work cus they all wanna meet her, and then i'm gonna bring her up to school to meet some friends there. anyway. it's gonna be the best day ever. Phineas and Ferb, i've got you beat.

CHWC "Heroes" skit

What Irks P.S. Hathaway more than anything else on earth?

well, let's begin with ignorance. if you do'nt know what you're tlaking about, don't talk about it. because those of us who do know what we're talking about, know what we're talking about, and you won't change our minds, especially if you're giving century-old-proven-wrong-a-million-ways dumb-ass arguments. i'm a catholic, there i said it. and being yelled at and put down for that is just plain stupid. why can't we all just love each other? why is it that when you learn i'm a catholic you say "oh, we can't be friends." or "oh yay! i'm gonna save you!". just let me be! i let you be. so do all true Catholics. so do most other people in the world. but it's that few people who prefer to disrespect me, my friends, my religion and my god that i simply cannot stand. this is why the world is in turmoil, because we can't accept and love others for who they really are. being Catholic is not a defect in me. being Catholic is not something that affects how i look at you, or our friendship. just accept it as a fact and move on.
this same goes for gays, Buddhists, protestants, gingers, fat people, blondes. these are stupid, childish stereotypes that others chose to put on people to make themselves feel better. it's ridiculous that anyone with a shred of education would put any stock in something like that. i'm a person just like you, but guess what? i educate myself because i care how i look to others. i want to correctly represent the things that i know to be fact, that speak to my heart and that i've learned to be true through facts and evidence. if you choose to ignore it, i don't care. but if you're gonna be a dick about it, don't talk to me because one of these days i'm gonna go off on someone and you better hope it isn't you.

Babies and onion rings

so i got my onion rings and now i'm happy :)
today a friend of mine brought in her baby, little miss Trista. she's a doll. she's so beautiful. i love that baby. anyway. so this baby's favourite thing to do with me is to kneel on my tummy and hold my hair in her hands, not pull it, and just stare at my face. it's crazy. and her mom just stared at her for a solid 10 minutes and was like "whoa. she never sits still like this. she never stares at ppl like this. what the heck?" and i just smiled at my beautiful miss trista. i'm so glad she loves me. i told my best friend this story and she responded "you know it's said that you know you're beautiful when a baby stares at you. the longer they stare the more beautiful you are." and all i could say was "dude, she stared at me until her mother had to leave."
so apparently to babies i'm beautiful. now i just need men to think the same thing.
:)

Algebra and 5 Dollars

so it's well known knowledge here at my college that i'm the girl who chucks twinkies at her Algebra teacher when he's not looking. yes, he does give me extra credit. but what i didn't know was that i'm also known as "that one girl who knows everyone and is really nice." i was told this by a complete stranger and was taken by surprise. but i'm a nice person and i'm really really glad that people think of me that way. i try to be understanding and loving of everyone simply because i love everyone. so anyway, that just made my heart happy and i thot i should share it with the world.
the 5 dollars segment of this post is basically just gonna be me complaining about not having any money. i have no money, i do'nt get paid until tomorrow and i'm hungry and sitting at the student deli here at school wishing really bad that i could have something to eat. i have 5 dollars and 60 cents which is plenty for a meal but i'm trying to decide whether to have my meal now, or after my 230 class. but then again, i think that today i just wanna go home after my 230 class cuz it always wipes me out and i work tomorrow anyway. ugh. i'm gonna go buy some onion rings and a mountain dew throwback, cuz they're both really cheap. thanks for the help non-existant people :D


you know what i just realized. blogs are basically just going insane and talking to yourself, but on the internet where anyone can read it. isn't that great?
lol
sleep well.

Manga and Anime

so my roommate has officially gotten me addicted to manga and it's corresponding anime. and vise versa. i think. all i've read and watched so far is all of Fruits Basket and half of Vampire Knight.
people may say that vampires are overdone and stuff, but i really do like vampire stories. you can do a million different things with vampires even if they are all similar in some ways. it's very interesting.
my friends are giving me lists and lists of things they think i'll like and things like that. it's kinda hilarious to watch. :)

The Heart Never Lies- McFly

silent night rendition for inspire

Soap Box

for my composition one informative essay we're supposed to write about our favourite thing to talk about so i'm writing a paper entitled "Myths and Misconceptions about the Catholic Faith". she told me not to do it because there's no way to prove any of my points as facts. so i'm determined to prove her wrong an write the greatest paper of all time. here's the opening paragraph to my paper.

My aim is not to convert, nor is it to blame. My aim is simply to educate, to put an end to ignorance. I have been attacked, yelled at, put down, for my faith because people think that they understand what I believe when in reality these are simply prejudices passed down from generation to generation against myself and my people. Some of these prejudices are grounded in reality, and some simply are not. I wish for my readers to understand the difference between reality and indifference. 

EAT THAT COMP 1 TEACHER!!!

Phone Numbers

so i'm in college, i don't know if you've deduced this yet, but it's true. i am. and i don't know how dating works in college. there was this guy and he walked me home a few times and we stayed up till all hours of the night holding hands and stuff. but this week i saw him holding hands with a skank (pardon my french, this blog is rated R) so i guess that's over, or never happened i suppose. anywho, so today i said something absent-mindedly along the lines of "i need me a man" to which my friend Shelly jumped into the air and said "ooh! i have a friend named Randy! text him! you'll like him!" i've never texted a guy i didn't know before, except in high school as a random prank. so i did this and he and i are getting along, so i'm just saying now that if he and i ever ended up together, it's all because of a random sentence uttered out of sadness and boredom and a friends longing to be a match-maker.

there's this thing called love and we all strive most of our lives to find it. and soetimes we watch it pass right in front of us and do nothing about it. sometimes we reach for it and just miss it. sometimes it's been there the whole time but you couldn't recognize it. and standing here with all these different roads to travel yet in this insignificant life of mine, i wonder what will happen to me on the road to love. is he traveling right beside me and all i have to do to find him is look to the right? is he my best friend who's holding my hand through it all? or do i not know him yet? will i meet him somewhere ahead on this crazy road?
only this i know, no one has the same road except him and i.

He looked up to the sky, his hands in fists in his pockets, his eyes watering softly, slowly, passionately. The sky grew orange in his eyes and she watched as his lips moved enveloping her in a story about his past. Letting her know every sin of his heart, every joy of his heart, every moment of his life. And she listened intently as his eyes lit up and as his eyes darkened, seeking through the pathways of time, translating every memory into a story of passion, heroism, Love, anger, regret. She saw that this was draining him and smiled to know that he was truly sharing everything. Opening himself up fully to her. He trusted her. She'd strived so long to be trusted by this man and this man alone. Because she loved him and wanted every part of him, of his mind, of his body, of his soul. And now he gave these things to her and regretted nothing.

(this is a little story i wrote.... or as my friend Rafe calls it; A Moment.)

Short Story 1

this is something i wrote a really long time ago, but i recently revisited and changed a little bit. i hope you like it.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up and roll over and reach for them, only to find the bed empty and cold? You just have to roll over, onto the floor, and for one terrifying minutes, you can’t remember how to breathe. You realize that there isn’t a reason to have woken up, they were your reason.

He was mine.

All of this repeated over and over in my mind for a few minutes till I gained enough strength to stand. I stood, but didn’t move. I swayed for a minute then turned, crawling back under the covers. I curled my legs up to my chest, wrapped my entire body around a pillow and bit into it. I dared myself not to cry but when had my emotions ever listened to me before? One shuddering, agonized sob escaped from my lips as the first tear made a trail down my cheek and soaked into the pillow. Many more would follow.

Biting into the pillow didn’t help. My sobs echoed through the whole house. Images, like movie clips, flashed through my mind. A dusty old book shop on the 4^th of July. A bouquet of daisies. Going swimming. Playing bingo at the retirement home.

Another reality hit me like a brick wall. Those days were over. But what now? How can I possibly be expected to totally reorganize my life without any warning?

Blink. Blood. Blink. Broken glass. Blink. Sirens.

I squeezed my eyes shut and willed it to stop

Blink, twisted metal.

I screamed and threw the pillow across the room. Standing up, I ran into the kitchen, and tripping over the unfinished carpet in the hallway, I landed on the cold tile with a thud and didn’t get up. I screamed again, sitting up and curling into a ball, my face buried in my knees, my fingers yanking at my hair. My scream turned into a sob.

“WHY!!!!???” it was a scream but halfway through the word my voice gave out in a shuddering moan. I let my head hang back and cried.

The sadness slowly boiled into an anger, a hate, one I’d never experienced before in my life. I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling. A realization hit me.

“You took him from me.” it was God’s fault. “The lord giveth, the lord taketh away.” A hate overflowed from my very inner soul. I stood but a sudden helplessness filled me. I collapsed to my knees and looked at my arm.

Like a blubbering idiot I started to rip off the bandages. “Take me instead.” It started as an almost silent plea, through gasps of air. Then grew louder and louder till I was almost hoarse. “Give him back and take me!” I was ripping at my medical tape and the gauze. “I don’t even want to be here! Let me go! Let him stay! You’re god! You’re all powerful! I know you can do it! SO DO IT!!!! Take me! Kill me! PLEASE! Please!!!! Please!” I repeated the word over and over till I was lying on the floor, passed out, surrounded by bloody gauze.

Loretta rang the doorbell, a tissue in one hand, a casserole in the other. She was here to visit her daughter-in-law. She'd barely been able to get out of bed herself, her sons death had been such a surprise. He'd been her only child, now she was a motherless woman. She felt empty, like her only meaning in life was gone. All of her men were dead now. She'd never really liked her daughter-in-law, but she remembered the day after her Wesley had died, she'd been a completely mess. At least he'd died in war and she'd been somewhat prepared for it to happen, her more daughter-in-law had been blind sided, quite literally and he'd been taken from her.

She rang the doorbell again. Melanie was probably lying in bed, crying, not wanting to move. But Loretta had to see her. She had to tell her about her Wesley dying, she couldn't stand the thought of her sons true love having to go through what she'd gone through without any help.

She rang the doorbell a third time but realized there was a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She reached down and tried the handle, the door was unlocked. She stuck her head inside and looked around, there were pillows everywhere.

“Melanie?” she shouted into the house letting herself in and shutting the door behind her. She began to make her way back to the bedroom, but when she set down the casserole on the coffee table the phone rang.

“Hello?” she asked, feeling awkward about answering her sons phone.

“Mrs. Taylor? Wife of Robert Taylor?” the man on the other line asked.

“this is his mother.” she answered.

“oh, well hello ma'am. I'm calling with good news. Your son is alive. The doctors were able to revive him, they didn't call last night because they didn't expect him to make it, but he did, he's doing okay. Can you and Mrs. Taylor come to the hospital?”

but Loretta had noticed something. There was blood on the kitchen floor. She looked at it, confused. She took a step to the side and saw a pale, white foot in the sea of red.

“can you please send an ambulance to this address?” she asked the man on the phone.

“what wrong?” he asked her.

“i think my daughter-in-law has tried to kill herself.” she answered and set the phone down.

She jogged around the corner and into the kitchen to find Melanie lying on her side in the middle of the kitchen floor surrounded by blood, her red hair soaked in deeper red, her bright green eyes staring blankly, empty, at the outside of the cabinet. Her pale irish skin was even paler, completely empty of colour.

Loretta fell weak, her hand went over her mouth and her eyes grew wide.

The only thing that would take the picture of Melanie's corpse was the picture of her son, alive, barely.

She and the doctors agreed to tell him that Melanie had died in the accident, he didn't need to know about her sacrifice.

Ted Bundy and Hammer Killers (don't read if you're squeamish)

today i learned of a string of 21 murders in the Ukraine. including an old man who'd just survived cancer who's death video was posted online for kicks. upon hearing this i was filled with depression. what would posses a human being to do something as inhuman, as unloving, as.... horrifying, as murdering 21 innocent people with a hammer and screw driver? including a pregnant woman who's womb they cut out of her body. three young men with perfect futures ahead of them. what kind of men would do that? what has to be wrong with someone for them to take a kitten and glue it's mouth shut, nail it to a cross and shoot it? what kind of a young man would kill two 14 year old boys just because they were walking past? what kind of man would kill an innocent 28 year old who just came back from the front, simply because he was unarmed by alcohol? what kind of man would do these things?

now see, the strange thing about me is that i have a favourite serial killer. yes, Ted Bundy is my favourite serial killer. i'm not saying killing people is okay, because its not. under any circumstance besides self defense, and even then, try all other options first. but if i had to choose a favourite, which i have, i'd pick Ted Bundy. when he killed people, he was inventive, he was intelligent, he was attractive, yes, i said it, he was attractive.

i guess part of my sad mood is because this weekend i watched The Color Purple for the first time and bawled my head off, like, i've cried at movies, but never out loud, bawling, all out sobbing. and i was. it was a great movie. and the sad thing about that movie is that things like that happen to people every single day of every year in time. and it sucks that humanity can have such a dark dark side. why can't we all just be good people?

Joplin, Missouri

this Saturday i took a charter bus to go to Joplin to help people who are still helpless. it was actually really lame. we didn't actually do anything. instead of tearing down a house, or building a house, or painting something for heavens sake! we helped no one. we raked dead grass and put it in bags even though they're gonna tear up the high school and make it all dirty again anyway. pointless much? i wanted to help people. bleh, oh well.
they're gonna go on another trip and i think i'm gonna go too, we met a contractor who's been there for 4 months from Philadelphia and he needs some help to frame houses and i'm overjoyed because one, i know how to do that. and two, that's actually helping someone, god forbid we actually help someone!
it's actually really crazy to drive through Joplin and see what the tornado did. there's literally this mile wide dent in the middle of the town. and the high school is cratered in, i have pictures but i don't know how to load them on here yet. maybe i will later. anyway, i'd never seen the after-effects of a tornado before and it was daunting. one of my friends put it perfectly "it looks like a post-apocalyptic movie." and that's exactly what it looks like. the hospital and high school look like they were ripped open and a zombie could jump out at any moment. it was poetic in a tragic way. to think of the 161 people who died is so sad. but to think of how many survived is a miracle.

Diet Dr. Pepper

just a tiny little update, i lost another fish this weekend. all i have left is Enrique and Kai. i swear Kai is a horrible murderer but i'm too nice to put him up for execution. oh well.

so Diet Dr. Pepper is God's gift to the world. i'm kinda really addicted. i'm also addicted to Peanut M&M's, they're really delicious. but today as i walked past my favourite snack machine on my way to work i found that they were out of Peanut M&M's and i was really sad. so i got some Famous Amos Cookies instead. mmmmmmm.

being a working college student is not as easy as i may make it seem. it's actually really stressfull. going from having three classes in the mornings to working for a few hours to having another (exceedingly boring) class afterward is not fun. whilst i love my job and all my classes, i don't like mixing them. i would much rather just have one or the other. plus when i get home my roommater likes to nag me about all that i don't do. when in reality, all ihave the energy to do at that point is hug my matress and catch some Z's. i'm always exhausted, but ya know what? i'm proud to be a working college student who is well on her way to having a real adult life.

Charlie Horses and Racism

so i've now woken up two days in a row to a charlie horse in my calf and let me just tell you that that is NOT fun. waking up to searing pain that seems to come from nowhere is scary and i just don't like it.

i'm sure you're all wondering why Racism is in the title. yesterday, well, last night, i was talking with a dear friend of mine, his name is Jeremy Foster and he's a wonderful man. he also happens to be black. and apparently this town is racist, which completely surprised me. i hate racists with a burning passion. it's like, people, if you're gonna be prejudiced, don't be. that's all i have to say.

Ichigo

Ichigo is the Japanese word for Strawberry. Ichi is the Japanese word for One.
my fish Ichigo was the first fish to come up and say hi when i went to Walmart to pick out my new, squirmy, fishies. i loved her from the start.
Last night my Little Ichigo died. the other two fish, Horatio and Kai, killed her. i think anyway. but i'm super sad. you can all officially call me Darla; the fish killer. because it's impossible for me to keep a fish alive for more than a month. mark my words, Horatio, Enrique and Kai will be dead by the end of the month. but i also promise to do all i can to prevent that.
Darla out.

On Love

so there's this thing that people like to call Love. what is it? does anyone actually, really, truly know? those who claim to have it are divorced a few years later and those who claim to have never felt it ache to think of the one they had. is that Love? to long and ache and cry and miss someone? i don't think it is. Love is beautiful and Love is kind and Love is.... well, indescribable. these days people use the word Love as a substitution for almost everything. "i Love tacos!" "i Love muffins!" "i Love Mariokart!"
but do they really mean it like the way the word was meant to be used? i say no. of course most people would say no as well but then they'll turn around and say "i Love going to allstar sports."
i say we should all sit down and think of the word Love. think of the one person you've always wanted to say it to. and then realize, maybe the word should be more respected.
let's all go to bed tonight thinking of Love.

Men and The Beatles

these are two completely different topics but i thought that title sounded more interesting :)



when the Beatles say "something in the way she moves..." i don't think they thought about how it might affect a 17-year old girl 50 years later. when i hear that song come on my IPod and watch him while he's doodling or doing his homework or talking to his friends, i relate, heart and soul, to those words. because when he moves it's like quick sand and i'm sinking ever closer to him. and there's no explaination as to why!!! it's simply.... something.



boys are wierd. wonderful... but wierd. i have lots of guy-friends and from them i learn things. the thing is, boys are simple. but each one is different. there are different boy-forms. quiet followers, quiet leaders, loud leaders, and loud loud. and that's pretty much it, though of course there are variations. but each boy hides his form!!! so us poor women follow them around and get tot hem them and interrogate them so we can figure out which one they are! and boys of course assume that we're wierd, bipolar women, when in fact, it's simply curiosity that leads us to be such a thing.

these are simply the musings of a mad woman who's just begun her life. let's see where it goes from here :)

The Very First

This is the very first blog ever posted by me, P.S. Hathaway, here on multicolouredbutterflies. and the only problem with that is; i can't think of anything to write about.
fish: i think most people have owned a fish at one time or another, but i can't even begin to say how hard it is for me to keep a fish alive. my friend Carly brought me a fish as a housewarming gift, as i've just moved into my new apartment here in this new city, and i named him Rodrigo because i like naming my fish non-American names. well 12 hours later i came home to find Rodrigo floating, belly up, in his tank. after flushing him and having my room-mate nickname me Darla (after the fish-killer from Finding Nemo) i went to walmart and blew all of my saving (approzimately 40 dollars) on getting four new fish, a real tank, real food, real decorations and a little net for the next time i killed one of them. i named these four new fish Kai, Ichigo, Horatio and Enrique. they are still alive although Ichigo is beginning to look a little depressed, she's smaller than the other fish and i feel like they're beating her up. which sucks. cuz she's the prettiest of them all. and if you knew me, you'd know that i don't put up with bullying. i'm kind of a hard-ass like that.
so i'll keep you updated on my fish and which ones i kill and how long it takes. it's been two whole days and they're still alive so i'm feeling a lot better about it :) maybe even a little bit hopeful. maybe i actually won't kill these ones.